Lt. John Pike here. Readers are writing in in large numbers. I’m assuming this has something to do with recent current events. I’m of course talking about the rapidly approaching holidays. Whatever the reason, feel free to email questions, or post them in the comments below. No signup required. I will be writing with my homespun advice as often as possible. I’m of course a little busy these days (getting caught up on WNTW on the ‘ol DVR, ha ha) but will give each of your queries pepper spray consideration.

– Lt. John Pike



  1. Dear Lt. Pike,

    I’m preparing for a first date this evening with a girl I picked up at a Burger King drive thru window (I was driving she was working the window). Any tips for making a good first impression?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dear Lt. Pike —

    I caught my 13 year old poking through my underwear drawer. Long story short, what’s the best way to get blood and pepper spray stains out of my delicates? Please don’t recommend I replace them all, money is tight. Will Oxyclean do the trick?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: